Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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