Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
ok first of all what the fuck
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
