Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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