I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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