Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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