i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
