Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
