i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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