I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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