We're like a lot better than the average bears
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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