I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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