worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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