if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
