I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize