She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
