Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
