Banned from zoo.
Again?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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