whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize
