ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I would fuck him just for his dog
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
