i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
