her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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