Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize