you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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