just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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