I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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