just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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