One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
