dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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