i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
