There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
