she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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