dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
