Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
