I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
