shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
