Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
you never un-have a 4some
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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