Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
