Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
