drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It's just like the Real World with babies
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
