No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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