Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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