idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
