ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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