He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Did you pee in the oven last night??
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
