google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
