i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
