I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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