Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
