She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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