Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
