Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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