just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The struggles of a small town man whore
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
