This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
