omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
