HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
