Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
