You just made me feel so damn special
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
