I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
