maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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